London Hermetica

Photography and Life Philosphy
I have been homeless for just over a week now, staying with friends. I attempted to smooth things over with Camelot Europe, but to know avail. My possessions remain at my former home, along with all my ‘Hermetica London’ materials. I don’t know how long they will remain there and I don’t know what to do with them next. I realised my concern was causing me pain and it would serve me better to let go and accept the situation by remaining in the present moment, rather than speculating on what would happen next. I experienced the return of peace when I let go.

Did a lot of walking today and I am now in a cafe in a Forest Hill. On the cafe wall I saw the following sign “If you endeavour, fate will favour you”. Last night I continued reading Nisargadatta Maharaj, ‘I Am That’. Earlier in the book he explained he did not need the body to communicate, but the person he was with needed it. I needed only to experience him through a book, but he was very present and answered my question as if we were together in the flesh. From the book:

M: You can have all the emotions you want, but beware of reactions, of induced emotions. Be entirely self-determined and ruled from within, not from without. Merely giving up a thing to secure a better one is not true relinquishment. Give it up because you see its valuelessness. As you keep on giving up, you will find that you grow spontaneously in intelligence and power and inexhaustible love and joy.
Q: Why so much insistence on relinquishing all desires and fears? Are they not natural?
M: They are not. They are entirely mind-made. You have to give up everything to know that you need nothing, not even your body. Your needs are unreal and your efforts are meaningless. You imagine that your possessions protect you. In reality they make you vulnerable. realise yourself as away from all that can be pointed at as ‘this’ or ‘that’. You are unreachable by any sensory experience or verbal construction. Turn away from them. Refuse to impersonate.

I have been homeless for just over a week now, staying with friends. I attempted to smooth things over with Camelot Europe, but to know avail. My possessions remain at my former home, along with all my ‘Hermetica London’ materials. I don’t know how long they will remain there and I don’t know what to do with them next. I realised my concern was causing me pain and it would serve me better to let go and accept the situation by remaining in the present moment, rather than speculating on what would happen next. I experienced the return of peace when I let go.

Did a lot of walking today and I am now in a cafe in a Forest Hill. On the cafe wall I saw the following sign “If you endeavour, fate will favour you”. Last night I continued reading Nisargadatta Maharaj, ‘I Am That’. Earlier in the book he explained he did not need the body to communicate, but the person he was with needed it. I needed only to experience him through a book, but he was very present and answered my question as if we were together in the flesh. From the book:

M: You can have all the emotions you want, but beware of reactions, of induced emotions. Be entirely self-determined and ruled from within, not from without. Merely giving up a thing to secure a better one is not true relinquishment. Give it up because you see its valuelessness. As you keep on giving up, you will find that you grow spontaneously in intelligence and power and inexhaustible love and joy. Q: Why so much insistence on relinquishing all desires and fears? Are they not natural? M: They are not. They are entirely mind-made. You have to give up everything to know that you need nothing, not even your body. Your needs are unreal and your efforts are meaningless. You imagine that your possessions protect you. In reality they make you vulnerable. realise yourself as away from all that can be pointed at as ‘this’ or ‘that’. You are unreachable by any sensory experience or verbal construction. Turn away from them. Refuse to impersonate.

Diary of a Super Terrarium Tramp

Terrarium making on the run - the show must go on!

After being evicted from my home yesterday and seeing my possessions thrown on the street and then rained on, I was quite exhausted by the time my homeless partner and I arrived at his friends house late last night.

After a slightly uncomfortable sleep, I woken up with a new perspective this morning. I would imagine that everyone experiences a curve ball or two in their lives, forcing them to change direction, no matter how well they plan and try to protect themselves from life’s uncertainty, but I seem to chase after them.

I am attempting to live from the heart, to see no distinction between my needs and the needs of others in a world that seems to be governed by self interest, not because people are evil, but because they are terribly afraid. The idea that people are somehow helplessly out for themselves is a very strong belief to challenge. I sometimes see my choice to attempt altruistic living as an act of insanity, after all, who wouldn’t instinctively want to protect themselves from risk of homelessness or worse, even if meant others had to suffer, if only indirectly or in a future generation? Isn’t life cruel by forcing us to make such choices, which is why all tolerate things we know are wrong?

I have always lived from the heart, but a sense of guilt used to wreak havoc each time my life seemed to be in peril. Not this time! I feel very different today to how I felt when I posted yesterday. I owe this feeling of hope and happiness to my housemates and ironically one person from Camelot, who have put my needs before theirs, as I will explain shortly, thus challenging my perception of a cruel and selfish world.

If you have followed my work I would hope it was obvious that I dearly love what I do. Yet I have always been prepared to lose everything I’ve built up if I believed holding on to it would be the cause of suffering in others. It is a simple fact that we will not survive our material life, that we will lose it all eventually. Accepting this and letting go now is liberation from suffering and from inflicting suffering on others. Acting from love can be perceived as dangerous and threatening by those who know no better, which is why I am in this situation now: I refused to pay rent for a building that was not wanted. In doing so, I challenged one of my deepest and most materialistic beliefs, that I cannot live without taking care of money before everything else. How can something made up, that has no heart or feelings keep me safe? No wonder it seems like people are terrified and do cruel things if they depend on something that cannot really protect them. Maybe that just describes my beliefs.

How could I have any hard feelings towards those who feel I am putting their livelihood at risk by my choices? I know how hard it is to escape the ‘sorry, it’s me or you’ mindset, because I have struggled with this all my life. Yet in the midst of yesterday’s horrors, I experience some of that altruism from others. My housemates risked eviction by allowing me in the building when they were told they would be punished for doing so. Once everything was getting rained on and I was soaking wet, the Camelot employee supervising my eviction allowed me back in the building and ignored me taking my possessions under cover. He told me he could lose his job by allowing me to do this.

Hermetica London is a bittersweet love. I put everything I am in what I do, because I know it will not last. Why not give it my all, every moment? The opportunity to give everything we have presents itself only once: in this moment and then it is gone forever. I cannot wait until I feel safe and secure before I decide to do something truly honest, because I will only be safe when I have escaped life itself. The material world exists as an opportunity to give of ourselves everything we possibly can, and by that giving, know who and what we are: that we are ourselves the universe and everything that exists in it. How wonderful is that? Grab the chance while you can, because everything you will ever experience is just the merest fleeting flicker in the vast infinity of Love and the only opportunity you will get to know that you are that Love.

Vintage Terracotta Pots with Succulents

Vintage Terracotta Pots with Succulents

Late Summer Roses

Late Summer Roses

Plums from the Garden
When I identify myself with the body, my existence becomes an anxious concern to preserve the corruptible. Yet within the flesh, overlooked and discarded, the potential of the seed represents a continuous truth that is my essential nature. If I give the body no preoccupation, it will take care of itself. I concern myself with the unpalatable heart of my nature, the part that does not satisfy immediate needs or pleasures. I cannot know my true nature without giving attention and effort to the undesirable. If I nurture this and it will sustain both myself and others. You will know myself with certainty beyond the fleeting. My experience will be not just the temporary flesh of the fruit, but also the roots, the branches and the leaves. I will be aware that I bear more fruit than I will ever need. I will enjoy the temporary sweetness of the flesh unmarred by the bitterness of regret at its ending.

Plums from the Garden

When I identify myself with the body, my existence becomes an anxious concern to preserve the corruptible. Yet within the flesh, overlooked and discarded, the potential of the seed represents a continuous truth that is my essential nature. If I give the body no preoccupation, it will take care of itself. I concern myself with the unpalatable heart of my nature, the part that does not satisfy immediate needs or pleasures. I cannot know my true nature without giving attention and effort to the undesirable. If I nurture this and it will sustain both myself and others. You will know myself with certainty beyond the fleeting. My experience will be not just the temporary flesh of the fruit, but also the roots, the branches and the leaves. I will be aware that I bear more fruit than I will ever need. I will enjoy the temporary sweetness of the flesh unmarred by the bitterness of regret at its ending.

Ryoji Ikeda - Spectra

Aloe

Aloe

Broken Pear Tree Branch
It is enough to know that there is suffering, that the world suffers. By themselves neither pleasure nor pain enlighten. Only understanding does. Once you have grasped the truth that the world is full of suffering, that to be born is a calamity, you will find the urge and the energy to go beyond it. Pleasure puts you to sleep and pain wakes you up. If you do not want to suffer, don’t go to sleep. You cannot know yourself through bliss alone, for bliss is your very nature. You must face the opposite, what you are not, to find enlightenment.
Sri Nisargadatta Marharaj - I Am That

Broken Pear Tree Branch

It is enough to know that there is suffering, that the world suffers. By themselves neither pleasure nor pain enlighten. Only understanding does. Once you have grasped the truth that the world is full of suffering, that to be born is a calamity, you will find the urge and the energy to go beyond it. Pleasure puts you to sleep and pain wakes you up. If you do not want to suffer, don’t go to sleep. You cannot know yourself through bliss alone, for bliss is your very nature. You must face the opposite, what you are not, to find enlightenment.

Sri Nisargadatta Marharaj - I Am That

Cacti and Succulents in Found Containers

Cacti and Succulents in Found Containers

Aromatic Herbs at Hampstead Pergola

Aromatic Herbs at Hampstead Pergola

Vintage Fern Terrarium

Vintage Fern Terrarium

Sonara

Sonara

Three Terrariums

Three Terrariums

Terrarium Trio: Copper Desert, Platinum Desert and Obsidian Desert

Terrarium Trio: Copper Desert, Platinum Desert and Obsidian Desert

Vintage Terrarium with Desert Planting

Vintage Terrarium with Desert Planting